Locked Out
by wikelia
Summary: Hiccup has accidently locked him, his wife, and his son out of their house. Watch as he tries to fix that. Warning: pointless, comedy, and kinda sassy. Modern AU.
A light breeze ruffled Hiccup's hair as he walked to bus stop to pick up Stoick. Astrid walked next to him, a red shawl wrapped around her. It honestly wasn't that cold, but both individuals felt as though it wouldn't hurt to wear a little something.

As they neared the stop and saw the bus coming, Astrid turned to him, biting her lip. "I didn't bring the keys, so I didn't lock the door."

"I locked the door," Hiccup said nonchalantly, and immediately widened his eyes.

Astrid gaped at him. "You _what?"_

He didn't answer, only shouted, "Stay here!" and _ran_ back to his house. He fumbled for his keys inside his jacket pockets, only to be met with material and a bubblegum wrapper. "Shit, shit, shit, _shit."_

He went up the front steps and tried to turn the doorknob. As he dreaded, it did not twist. He slammed the door in frustration. "No!"

His head turned to see Astrid and five year old Stoick coming towards them, his wife with a very stern expression on his face. He walked up to them, scooped up Stoick, and said to her, "It's locked."

Astrid groaned, and Stoick gasped. "But…" He glanced up at Hiccup with bright blue eyes. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Brilliant," Hiccup muttered, "Just brilliant." He gritted his teeth and leaned against the brick wall, sighing. "What do we do?"

"We call Fishle-" Astrid stopped in her tracks. "You _do_ have your phone, right?"

He panicked for a second, but then brightened and took his cell out of his jean pockets. He waved it around triumphantly. Stoick clapped. Astrid rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but you're forgetting that the closest person is Fishlegs and he's twenty minutes away."

There was an uncomfortable silence that Stoick broke by saying awkwardly, "I could hold it."

Hiccup thought for a while, before making his way to the side of the house. There wasn't a very good chance of a window being open, but it wasn't just the fact that Fishlegs was a while away that put him off. It was _embarrassing,_ to be a twenty seven year old and to lock himself and his family out of their house.

He tried a few windows, while Astrid provided unhelpful and discouraging commentary. All of them were locked on the side. He passed a discarded laundry basket that the last owner had left there. On the back of the house, there was a kinda small window and a sliding door. Of course he tried opening the door, to no avail, it was locked as well. Astrid sighed and told him to just call Fishlegs.

He ignored her. He reached up to the window and after a few sharp tugs, it slid off.

Stoick cheered. "You did it, daddy!"

Hiccup gave him a small smile, and tried to jump up, but it was too high for that. He turned around to ask his wife, only to remember that she was _pregnant_ and thought better of it. But another idea struck him.

"What's daddy doing?"

"Being an idiot, as usual."

She was bitter. He couldn't blame her, he _had_ just locked them out. And not only was Astrid Hofferson one to get angry easily, she was also very hormonal at this time. Pregnancy was not easy. Still, it was disheartening him; this whole thing was more embarrassing than it should be.

He messed up. He really messed up.

After dragging the basket to the window, he stood up, with every intention of climbing in. The basket crinkled dangerously and he put one foot down.

" _Hiccup,"_ Astrid groaned, "This is never going to work. Just _call."_

" _Wait,"_ he told her, and then peered down.

It was the bathroom window.

The family had just moved in, and had renovated the whole house. It had only been about three months, so not everything was ready. And that was why there was an open window in the bathroom shower. This was the bathroom in the basement, and there was another one upstairs, that didn't have a window, so that was the one they used.

"Stoick," Hiccup began, "I think I could lower you in here, and then you could open the door for us. How's that sound?"

He turned to grin at him, but saw that Stoick was staring fearfully. "That's scary, daddy. I'll fall."

"Hiccup, are you crazy? He could get hurt!" Astrid hissed. "No way am I letting that happen!"

Hiccup sighed. "Then I guess I'll do it."

His wife and child groaned. He ran to the front, and took the blue recycling bin to the back. He stepped on the basket, and then onto the bin, Peering down, he saw the drop, and honestly, he wasn't scared, but he wasn't _stupid_ either.

"Ast, I could lower him down!"

"Not. Happening! He doesn't even want to!"

Indeed, Stoick's lower lip was trembling. He buried his face in his mother's stomach.

His father groaned and raised his foot to put one leg in, only at that moment the basket tumbled.

All three of them yelled as Hiccup hit the ground, his hands reaching the cement. He groaned in pain.

Astrid dropped to her knees, very slowly, it was not easy to do anymore. "Are you alright? Hiccup!"  
"M'fine," he muttered, "Are you alright, milady?"

She thumped his head lightly, and as soon as he sat up, Stoick jumped on him. "Daddy! Don't do that again. Please."

"I have to, Stoick." He ruffled his now pouting son's hair and got up with another groan, straightening his back. He set the recycling bin straight and stood on again.

One leg in, other leg in, fall.

"Hiccup!" Astrid yelled from outside. "Would you please stop falling?"

He called out to her. "Oh, because I'm obviously _making_ myself fall!"

"Don't sass me, Hiccup!"

"Don't sass mommy!"

He stuck his tongue out at both of them, not that they could see it. And he went to the back door and let them in. Astrid glared as she went by.

Hiccup sighed as Stoick ran to the bathroom. Such was the life.

 **Pointless drabble is pointless.**

 **Written because this actually happened to me yesterday, and even though this was mostly comedy, I felt like shit all day. My mom's friend had already come, and she helped us too...**

 **I did the tumble too. Kept thinking of Astrid and got up. It's only fun if you get a scar put of it, right?**

 **(I DIDN'T GET A FRICKIN SCAR)**


End file.
